I feel better.


Yesterday morning when I woke up, the first thought that popped into my head was, “I’m hungry.” Wait.

I have my appetite back! YES!

After days of not wanting to eat, it’s so nice to not feel disgusted by the sight of food.

I’m still weak and tired, but that’s become the norm after years of fighting this thing.

I don’t do well with waiting games, so between now and when I meet with the Doc again feels long. I don’t do well with guessing games either. And I pray that the blood test results will have some answers for us.

You know what I look forward to the most?

Going to bed at night and falling asleep.

My darkest hours have been from 10-2:00 PM, when I am so exhausted, but I. Just. Can’t. Sleep.

One of my goals for 2015 was to go to bed earlier, so I can rise earlier.

Well, turns out, going to bed earlier doesn’t work if you can’t sleep. So now my goal is to get my body to sleep before 10PM. I come from a family that struggles with insomnia, but I really, REALLY want to kick this thing.

I want to enjoy mornings, and not spend the first 3 hours of my day trying to stay awake.

My Daddy takes sleeping pills, then uses huge amounts of caffeine to wake himself up. Miserable way to live, I think.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to blame all of this on my health issues. It’s also years of bad habits & laziness.

I want to change. I really do.

You see, sometimes it’s easy for me to have lovely goals and lists, and be all organized. But when it comes down to actually doing it, that’s another matter.

Self-discipline doesn’t just happen for me. It needs to be created by doing hard things.

That’s where my Jesus comes in. It’s the daily refining that He does, and His believing in me and my dreams, that helps me be someone I could never be otherwise.

So I am going to trust Him to show me what areas I need to be more disciplined in, and when I just need to rest.

We come from a culture that doesn’t know how to rest. Or pray.

I don’t mean to be harsh, but we seriously don’t.

We know how to work really hard and have gorgeous properties. But we don’t know how to pray.

Back to sleeping/health. (I go on bunny trails a lot in case you didn’t notice. Perks to not being a seasoned writer.)

The Doc said I will be able to sleep again. He said it with such conviction that I had to believe him. That thought makes me deliriously happy.

I need to go study for an upcoming talk at a woman’s conference. Ugh.

I love the actual event. But the studying part? Nope.

I should share a picture before I go.

This one indicates that autumn is arriving.

To say I’m happy would be an understatement. I LOVE the change of seasons.

The humid weather makes my fatigue and brain fog escalate, so that’s another reason for loving the cold. Hopefully I will enjoy warm weather in the future.

Happy Weekend!


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